|Isn’t it frustrating when you invite two people to your wedding and they reply for four people? It’s amazing how many folks don’t think it is an imposition to invite other couples or their children to your wedding. However, these extra people can add up and have a huge impact on your pocketbook.
You probably have a target number in mind for the number of guests you would like. Many reception halls have limits on how many people the facility will legally hold. And, if you and your fiance have decided this is not an event for children, so be it. But, how do you tell your guests?
~ Spread the word. Be upfront and let your parents and other family members or close friends know that your wedding will be an adult event. They can let other guests know if asked.
~ Now zip your lip. If people who didn’t make the cut start pestering you for directions to your wedding, let them know you would have loved to invite more guests. Unfortunately, you have decided to have a small family wedding. Then, leave it at that. Don’t talk about the wedding in the presence of those who aren’t invited. They may find a way to guilt you into sending an invite!
~ State it. If you are adamant about your guest limit make sure to address your invitations to only those invited. Obscurity, like addressing to “Mr. Thomas Jones and Family”, could mean different things to different people. You may even go as far as to fill in the number of guests on the reply card.
~ No kids allowed. If your event is not appropriate for children, state on your reception card “adult reception”. Hopefully your guests will obey.
Too many guests
Sometimes people will invite not only their spouse, but ask another couple or other relatives to your wedding. Not only is it rude to do so without asking your permission, but also it makes for an uncomfortable situation for you, because you are forced to confront them.
Call the guest if you feel comfortable doing so, or if it is your fiance’s relative, maybe he could call. If not, send a friendly note indicating that you are happy that they are able to attend your wedding. Let them know although you would like to have more guests, you can only accommodate a certain number of guests. Again, tell them you look forward to seeing them at your wedding.
No kids allowed
The same goes for the children. Perhaps the couple doesn’t realize this is an adult event, or that their children were not invited. But, for those difficult people who insist they will not come unless they can bring their children, this one can be tricky to handle.
If you sincerely want an adult-only event, you will have to stick to your guns on this one. If you allow one child to come, you will have to make the exception for all. Or, make the exception fair. For example, only your nieces and nephews can attend.
When you call or send a letter, be firm and let the couple know, although you would love to see little Johnny, that this is an adult event. Be sure to stress that there will not be other children at your wedding, or someone there to care for the children. If you can, suggest a babysitter. If the guest still refuses to come unless their child is invited, so be it. Let them know that you are sorry they are unable to attend their wedding.